The Feeling That Its All Alot of Oysters, But No Pearls
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
And its been a long december and theres reason to believe Maybe this year will be better than the last I cant remember all the times I tried to tell my myself To hold on to these moments as they pass And its one more day up in the canyon And its one more night in Hollywood Its been so long since I've seen the ocean...I guess I should
Success is just like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you were fucked!
not many people understand how hard it has been, these past 6 months that i've worked to save enough for this trip. because they only see the spammed plurk page, fb updates, 24/7 available msn status, weekly snaking yamcha sessions which made it seem like everything comes so easily.
at one point, it all seemed like it'd never be worth it now that i'm here, Day X (i lost count and stopped counting), don't know how many days are left till my departure don't know which city i'll be heading next wasting time in this empty house and chilly weather doing nothing beats being back in lonely lil' mlk some people getaway from home by leaving to the city for a weekend i have to travel half way across the world to get a breather from the family
familiar faces, new house, lingering flavors, ever-available arms to snuggle into, annoying house music blasting, beautiful autumn leaves and 2% milk.
There's Rileen Chua, the working girl who's rebellious on her office dress code who recently learnt to appreciate gingerwinechicken
bunnysuicides, making death look easier and entertaining
SaraJeanne scribbles little notes and leaves it across her room to surprise herself one day in the future
then there's Aya, the ex-bundle of spunk running around campus, dreams of fairies and coloring pencils and someone who'd knock on the door one day and offers an invitation to see the world together
Leen, a part that is still in Williamsburg waking up to an adventure everyday
and chuagueyling, my secondary school phase where little glimpse of feminity peek through
Jamie, the ghost that floats between pixels across the net
Chai Gui Ling, the scrawny chopstick boyish kid with giant spectacles in primary school, squeaky clean innocence behind those dirty school shoes and monstrous appetite for 2 packs of maggi (with egg) for lunches while watching afternoon cartoons.
heartxrecycled, emo name (according to dc) with a cheery happy shopaholic heart that buys clothing and accessories using maybank2u and pos laju
ayayaa, gamer. geek to all games 2d. except dota. technically 2 1/2 D
Rileen Aya, conjured out in attempts to help people from different stages of my life to identify me
and xanga and chalkboards and fullscape papers and wordpress and thankyoucards and messages in coke bottles and colored pixels in jpeg forms
so may i ask, in how many parts is your body mind and soul split into? do you suffer from this identity crisis? and which, is the person you truly are? and which, is the person you want to really become if reality allows it?
and as usual, nobody will answer my question.
but thankyou, dumborainbow for your honest, special, elaborated feedback. :)
*post reposted, for special people that would probably like reading it but dont get to come online too often. i mean you, reeeeenzzz. ;)
Things have been going so painstaking well, I'm on Cloud 9. :) It has been such a long time since I've gotten that spotlight, since now he's free, he's decided to make my wait worth while.
:)
i love love love love loveeeeee rainbows that peek out after the storm
i should be shaking with fear that this will all come to an end, but i'm really really too happy to even feel the need to bother about it.
my only :( for now is just that two forever21 statement tees that i can't seem to get my hands on. but that won't happen for long. :) thank god for online purchases!
this feeling of knowing nothing can bring me down, is a forgotten adrenaline that has been running through my veins silently. i'm glad to know i still have it in me
thank you for wishing me happiness thank you for giving me happiness
i made 3 wishes that i cannot remember 4 days before my actual birthday. made none on the actual day.
would it still work if i wish now would it be too much to ask for this to never end? i guess so.
ok,
let's wish for a beautiful perfect full stop to close the file of 2009. i want to keep smiling till 2010 comes! :)
